Judd Jugmonger's NFL Picks - Week 13

Howdy Folks! This here is Judd Jugmonger. I jsut done me muh podcast with my picks fe the NFL this week. So fer all a y'all cain't sand muh voice none ... well, here is the transcript ... and in ain't in sanscript, neither!

Well howdy folks and kin! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' and I'm back a rarin' to go with muh picks fer week 13 of the NFL. That thar is the National Football League, where some teams can actually play dead at home and git killed on the road.! The holiday's are a comin' and winter is a settlin' in, and since I ain't gettin' any younger, here we go! A ho-ho-ho! A dashin' through the snow ... on with the show!

Tennessee Titans (5-6) at Indianapolis Colts (11-0)
Ok, first up we got us an easy one. It's them Colts vs. them Titans. Peyton Manning and Company is still undefeated. ... and them Titans is ... well undefeated since they got them selves a new "young" quartyback. Do y'all reckon this will be his first taste of defeat? ... or in the Colts' case - de-hooves? I reckon so.

Houston Texans (5-6) at Jacksonville Jaguars (6-5)
Ok, that thar was easy. nest up is them 5 and 6 Texans vs. them 6 and 5 Jaguars. On paper, I'd say the them kitties should git the best of them Houston boys - what with them playoff bound ... but don't count out them Texans, yet - at least as the math goes. Still, I'd go with the Jaguars. I think they got themselves a bit more "grrrr" in their bellies. Sorry, Hoss.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-10) at Carolina Panthers (4-7)
Oh Carolina, oh don't you cry fer me, I ain't goin to the Stinker Bowl - but you are! That's right folks, When you are sad and lonely and gots no place to go, git ye' your clothes pins and stick them on your nose! Cause it's the Stinker Bowl! And this week, wavin' their banners low is them 1 and 10 Buccaneers and them 4 and 7 Panthers. Ok, the Panthers still got a shot to make them playoffs - a long shot - but a shot. And them Tampa Bay boys will give be kind enough to give them a hand. Maybe they should change the name of the team to the Tampa Bay Samaritans.

New Orleans Saints (11-0) at Washington Redskins (3-8)
All right, now we got us the, undefeated Saints and them lowly 3 and 8 Redskins. Stay in your Teepees boys - and no one will git hurt. The choir boys can be brutal.

New England Patriots (7-4) at Miami Dolphins (5-6)
Speakin' of prayin' ... next we got us my Dolphins vs. them Patriots. I ain't even gonna mention how many bottles a moonshine I had to wrestle off a cousin Jed last week to drown my sorrows in last weeks Miami misery. I reckon the Patriots and Tom Brady are comin' into ole Landshark stadium awfully confident. And they should be. Still, I think Miami even though they're under 500 again, has got a surpise or two up their dorsal fins. Go with the underdogs, folks.

Philadelphia Eagles (7-4) at Atlanta Falcons (6-5)
Ok, now we got us them Eagles vs. them Falcons. It's a bird fight folks! Feathers a flyin' this way and that - It ain't a gonan be a dog fight - even though Michael Vick will be thar. Speakin' a quartybacks - uh Matt Ryan got him the turf toe and will be doin' butt duty on the bench this week. So I say, that them Eagles will fly away oh lordy I'll fly away .... just like that thar bluegrass song. Do do do ... "Fly like an eagle to the sea" .. fly like an Eagle go git your birdy victory.

Denver Broncos (7-4) at Kansas City Chiefs (3-8)
Ok next up is them 7 and 4 Broncos vs. them 3 and 8 Chiefs. Look out fer the Stampede! It's gonna be ugly. The Chiefs git trampled - and don't you know it.

Oakland Raiders (3-8) at Pittsburgh Steelers (6-5)
All right, next up them Raiders go to Pittsburgh to raid them Steelers - but Roethslinger is back from concussion la-la land. So them Oakland boys will be busier than a Rooster in a hen house.... though ... uh ... they won't be playin' the part uh the Rooster. Know what I mean? I think you do!

St. Louis Rams (1-10) at Chicago Bears (4-7)
Ok, now I tell you what, this next games comes might close to bein' another Stink Bowl, what with we got us here them 1 and 10 Rams and them 4 and 7 Bears. But I think this here will be a good game cause either it's gonna be them Rams a celebrtin' their 2nd victory beatin up on a bunch a Gummy Bears ... or its gonna be them Polar Bears puttin' them "Poor Rams" on ice. You know what I think it's a gonna be fun watchin' the Rams win another one .... but they probably won't. Poor Rams.

Detroit Lions (2-9) at Cincinnati Bengals (8-3)
What else we got us here, let's see, it's the Kitty Bowl them 2 and 9 Lions vs. them 8 and 3 Bengals. Uh ... gonna save my breath here ... them Tigers git to growl ... them Lions - just a Meow and they git send off to play in the Kitty Litter.

San Diego Chargers (8-3) at Cleveland Browns (1-10)
All right, next is them 8 and 3 Chargers vs. them 1 and 10 Browns. The Browns will git electrocutes and take the short bus home from the their own stadium. Peyoo!

San Francisco 49ers (5-6) at Seattle Seahawks (4-7)
Ok yonder come them 49ers vs. them Seahawks. Them San Francisco boy are above 500 .. them Seattle boys, ain't. Some folks say theirs a no surprises here ... but I tell you what. I think them Seahawks are a gonna pull this one out and win the Pabst Blue Ribbon. Heck even my little pigskin what I spun, says so.

Dallas Cowboys (8-3) at New York Giants (6-5)
And now it's them Cowboys vs. them Giants. Both these teams are hungry. Them Dallas boys got their eyes on that that thar NFC East title. Meanwhile, them Giants got their eyes on Eli Manning's foot that's a smartin's some. Well it don't take much smarts to know that them Cowboys are gonna ride them, Giants outta their own towm.

Minnesota Vikings (10-1) at Arizona Cardinals (7-4)
Ok, now it's them Vikings and them Cardinals. Burt Favre vs. Kurt Warner. One a them is a gonna git caught with their pants down. Now Warner went to concussion la-la-land fer a week. Had him his head in them clouds ... this week his head will be back down around his ankles I suspect.

Baltimore Ravens (6-5) at Green Bay Packers (7-4)
All right, it's uh, Monday Night Football, with them Ravens vs. them Packers. This one's a gonna be close. Them Green Bay boys got them a wildcard, while them Baltimore boys are still in the hunt. If y'all ask me, which I suspect y'all are since y'all are a listenin' to this here podcast - well I say them Packer's defense is a gonna can them birds. It won't be spam in a can ... but it won't be corned beef neither. Go with them Packers!

All right! That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh picks! Now, I tell you what, December is a good time fer takin' stock of those who y'all think kindly of. I know y'all gittin' your Christmas Card lists a sorted out and what not. And all y'all folks out thar what will be havin' a "very merry" what with all that money from my picks what I just gave you - well don't ferget to send me one them long cards with the pocket fer some cash. I still got that Telecaster on layaway - don't want to let it git way! So git on over to www.jugmongers.com - that's Jugmongers with a "J" - and set me up with a little paypal donation and ask me fer muh address to send me one a those long cards with green lettuce inside.Ok. so this here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off from the Katywonkered Cafe' with some words a sagely advice: When things go wrong - don't go with them.

Judd Jugmongers NFL Picks - Week 5

Howdy folks! I got me my podcast what have my picks fer week 5 of the NFL up on I-Tunes now! You can also hear them by click on the left side of this here page. So, here is the transcripts fer this weeks poscast... in case y'all have a problem with the RSS feed .... sounds like horse feed. Hope you enjoy 'em! If y'all want to listen to the podcast and read along ... if you need the pratice readin' that is.


Well howdy folks! This here is Judd Jugmonger, once again live from the Katywonkered Cafe' - and this here is muh picks fer Week 5 of the NFL, that thar's the National Football League. Where them big boys play in the Good Ole USA ... and they don't wear little shorts neither... Now last week, I picked 9 correctly of them games. Yes sir - that thar was good!

Ok, first up we got them Cowboys and them Cheifs .... that's thar's a regular game a cowboys and injuns. Well, it looks like Tony Romo and company are a gonna do what Eli Manning and company did to them Cheif's last week. That's right. Cheifs take the short bus home from the stadium once again.

Next up is them Vikings and them Rams. I tell you what, I feel sorry fer them Rams, cause I think Bert Favre is a gonna take a few nips of that thar special "Geritol" he got himself thar and git his team all fired up again - just like he done last week against his old team in Green Bay. Poor Rams.

All right. It's the Browns vs. the Bills. Now, both a them teams found themselves down in the dumps last week. So, who's a gonna win the battle of the losers this week? Well, I think the Bills are fairly ornery what with the tar and featherin' they got down in Miami. At O and 4 the Browns just cain't git out a the dog-house ... or the outhouse ... or wherever it is they is.

Ok, Them Steelers vs. them Lions. Now I was wrong about them Steelers last week gitin' zapped and all. I admit it. But this week ... I just think them Lions is gonna git back some of their growl. Go with Detroit!

Hey, y'all ever hear of a "New York Cheer"? Well, that what them Raiders are a gonna be hearin' a ringing in their heads this Sunday... and probably all next week .. even though Eli Mannin' seems to be hobblin' about on one foot.

All right. now it's them Bucanneers and them Eagles. Them boys from Tampa Bay have been sleepin' with the fishes the past few weeks. Now I think they is a startin' to wake up ... but first they gotsta find their way outta Davy Jones Locker... cause them Eagles have flown off with the key. Take the Eagles "hoss".

Now it's the Redskins and the Panthers. Nothin' could be finer than be to be in Caroliner .... and don't the Panthers know it! Them Redskins won't know what hit 'em.

Bengals Vs. them Ravens. Both teams are 3 and 1. Looks like them Balitmore fellers might have a field day with them Bengals. Joe Flacco is a gonna go whacko on them Bengals. Yep, you heard it here, boys.

Ok, it's them Falcons vs. them 49ers. Now this one was a mighty hard one fer me to pick. So I just spun me my little pigskin here... and it pointed to them Falcolns. I cain't not disagree. It's gonna be a close one, though.

All right. Now we gotta a battle betwixt them 1 and 2 Cardinals and them 2 and 2 Texans ... a 1 a 2 a 1 2 3 5 ... oops that don't add up ... and neither does Arizoney's running game. Sorry boys.

Ok, it's them Jaguars vs them Seahawks. Them kitties from J-A-X proved me wrong last week. So I'm a gonna go with them ... especially how them Seatle boys are still feelin' poorly.

Ok, Tom Brady and his Patriots roll into Denver this week and face them 4-0 Broncos. The Broncos are 4 and 0? Imagine that! Well I don't reckon they is a gonna make it 5 and 0. And I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure out that one, neither.

Now it's them Colts vs. them Titans. Peyton Mannin' and the Colts are a sittin pretty at the top o' the four corners of the world .... looks like them Titans are still sittin' in the outhouse, though. Will thar be a big upset this week? I reckon not.

All right MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL and the game of the week. It's them Jets and them Dolphins. I think the next comin' a "Broadway Joe" got rattled last week... and my Fins ... well they done me proud. Lets make it 2 in a row boys ... keep that runnin' game goin'. Oh .. and Mark Sanchez? Well I think he's a gonna need a powder again this week.

That's it's fer me folks. That thar is muh opicks! Now, I tell you what, fer all a y'all that win big on muh "insights" - well - go ahead and send me some a your winins ... If and you do ... I do you some BBQ ribs with all the fixin's ...heck, I'll even throw in a beer. I promise. Go to www.jugmongers.com - that's jugmongers with a "J" - and see how you can send me some money fer that thar BBQ. I thank you kindly.

All right. This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off with some words of wisdom ... when in doubt ... go fer the endzone.
　
　

Judd Jugmongers NFL Picks - Week 4

Howdy Folks,

This here is Judd Jugmonger. Guess what? Some kin suggested that I do a podcast with my weekly picks fer the NFL - that thar's American Football for those a you not here in the good ole' USA. Ya see, ever week I go down to the Katywonkered Cafe' and have some key lime pie and what not ... and give my picks to all that's thar. So we decided to record my picks and put them up in the Internet. I'm workin' to git the podcast up on the Internet - but in the meantime here is my Week 4 picks what I said in my podcast. I reckon you'd a call this a transcript. Ok ... here it goes .... close you eyes and pertend y'all can hear me a talkin' .....

Howdy! This here is Judd Jugmonger and I'm live from the Katywonkered Cafe' - and this here is my picks for the NFL, that thar's the National Football League - thar ain't no soccer thar ... just good ole' American passin' and handin' off the pigskin fer a touchdown.

So this here is a week 4. And here we go...

Ok - We got us the Ravens Vs. the Patriots. Looks like them Pats is a gonna have them a feast today - but it ain't gonna be crow ... them Ravens is on the menu - the way I see it.

All right now the Redskins, well they play them thar Buccaneers. I tell you what... someone is a gonna get scalped ... so thar ain't gonna be no "yo ho ho" in Tampa today.

Ok - Now we got us the Titans from Tennessee vs. them Jaguars from Jacksonville... now you know I like them Florida teams ... but I tell you what ... them kitties are a gonna git themselves squashed in a Bluegrass Stomp care a the good ole' boys from a Tennessee.

Next up is them Raiders from Oakland vs. them Texans from Houston - Now the way I see it is that the only raidin' them raiders are gonna do is the icebox fer some comfort food... when the Texans make road kill outta them.

Ok - The Bears vs. The Lions .. who's a gonna be the king a the jungle this week? Well them thar Lions are gonna have to do them some learnin' to "Grin and Bear it" cause I think them boys from Chicago are a gonna show em' their bear claws. Look out ...

All right now we got us some Ohio boys -but it ain't the Buckeyes ... it's them Bengals from Cincinnati and them Browns from Cleveland... I tell you what we is a gonna see a lot brown tonight cause them Bengals are fixin' to kick them some Cleveland butt.

Ok, who's next - bring em on... let's see we got us here ... the Giants vs. the Chiefs... Looks like the Chiefs will be ridin' the short bus home from the stadium... Eli Manning and Co. is gonna spring for the gas - I hear.

All right - now we got us the Jets Vs. the Saints. Mark Sanchez... well that thar pretty boy is doin' a bang up job up North thar. But some folks think the Saints are gonna make em' pray ... but I tell you what I think them Jets are gonna send them Saints back to seminary school.

All right - game of the week - them Fins vs. the Bills. Now y'all know I'm a big Miami fan form way back and them fish a gonna start them a new QB tonight what's name is Chad Henne .... not Penny. Now even though them Dolphins are down by three ... I think there's gonna be a resurrections this week. Now Buffalo' a playin' good these days .... but they is a gonna be fish food tonight. If and they don't ... well someone here's a gonna pitch a fit.

That's right - you heard it here first.

Ok - it's the Cowboys and the Broncos who are unbeaten ... well not for long that is.

All right - next up is the Rams vs. the 49s - Them boys from St. Louis ain't won a game yet ... I reckon it's gonna stay that way this week too. Poor rams....

Now it's the Chargers vs. them Steelers.... I think the Steelers are gonna git zapped ... it's gonna be a close one though....

Finally Monday Night Football - Them Packers vs. them Vikings... good game .... break out the beer cause Burt Favre ... gonna send his old team Packin'...

Well that's a bout it ... that thar is muh picks - now if and some a y'all are the bettin' kind and ya'll win some Liquor money ... well, I hope y'all be kind enough to share some with me - especially how I gave y'all them picks here. So send me your money - go to www.jugmongers.com and see how you can send me some money fer some beer or what not. I thank you kindly.

All right. This here is Judd Jugmonger signin' off with some of advice ...remember - everyday above ground .... is a good one.